Nobody in this fucking room would do it. Thats something we dreamed about and it fucking happened. Go see what it is. Wake up those fucking dogs you bought. Cause I dont care if shes a little salty. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. I just told her the other day. The motherfucker! I mean, I wet the bed all the fucking time and I just hated myself for it. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: 16+ | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. [distorted] Wagyu beef taste like boot leather. And I wear wild socks, and So Im having breakfast in this restaurant across the street from the hotel Im staying in, by myself, and I finish with my meal, I realize I dont have any money. Any ideas? Anyway, it gets to be 5:30 in the morning. Fuck no, you have not. And I double snotted my own fucking television. Cause were scared to fucking death of geese. [cheering and applause] When Jeff got big enough to take somebody with him, he took me with him, which was an amazingly gracious thing for Jeff to do for me. Filming Locations for the Disney+ Movie, Alexander Molony Is the Perfect Blend of Charming and Naive in Disney+s Peter Pan & Wendy, What Does "Doderick Macht Frei" on 'Succession' Mean? Fuck, I dont know. And I did these shows in London, and they dont play my stuff on television in London. Its very short. After dedicating years of service at a matchmaking company, Arini tries to piece together her mysterious past and memories of a former client. Even when he forgets a line he's funny, he's never panicking, on the contrary he'll make it even funnier. I dont have that kind of mirror or that kind of friend. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. Fuck that. Heres what I get at three oclock in the morning when I have a six oclock flight: [whispering] Ron. And I get up there and the cop goes, Mr. A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. Maybe a half a sandwich and a soup. And if youre looking for a bicycle, its a great deal. [Ron White] You ever take a crap so big your pants fit better? This 10-digit number is your confirmation number. Im 61 years old now, and I know two things to be true. And he said that the Golden Corrals the best place to find these people cause he says thats where the really big girls like to winter. First big gig we did together was the first week in December 1996 at the MGM Grand in Vegas. Now, I think its a little strange that vaginal rejuvenation is fine, yet its illegal to roll back the odometer on your car. What?. And if youd like to buy the bicycle, just go to my house in Beverly Hills, and its 400 yards from there. Thats the whole plan. It happened ten years before, but I still had his office number in my phone, and my wife said I was a dick for doing this, but as soon as I found out he died, I called his office, I said, Id like to speak to John Mayhew, please. The lady goes, Im very sorry to tell you, but Mr. Mayhew passed away. I said, Okay, and I called her right back and said, Id like to speak to John Mayhew, please. She goes, I just told you, Mr. Mayhew passed away. I said, I know, I just like hearing you say it. My wifes like, Youre a dick. I said, Bullshit. I have no idea what Id do if I walked out and somebody was there, Id be like [yawning] [click] Oh, hey. [mooing] We have a chocolate waterfall and a cotton candy machine. In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. I was doing a meet and greet the other day right after a show, this young guy goes, When my girlfriend comes back from vacation with her parents, Im going to ask her to marry me. In a dystopian future devastated by air pollution, the survival of humanity depends on the Black Knights and theyre far from your average deliverymen. One of these treatments is a thing called anal bleaching. Im like, Theyre gonna know. This one takes a bit to get going and funny, but once he starts, he keeps it going hard. This is drunk. [inaudible] [shouting] Whats it look like now? We dont even want it. Steals my sandwich. I fucking hate em. Geese arent natural. Its just the words they say, whatever the fuck they say just cracks me the fuck up. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Powered by Reelgood Since the Blue Collar Comedy Tour first started in 2000, Texas native Ron White has always stood apart from. Im ready. Were just gonna have lunch. Well, Ive been here, but Ive never been here, and if I only Dead. .08 is a revenue stream for the federal fucking government, is what .08 is. Maybe a salad and a sandwich. There are no featured reviews for Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up because the movie has not released yet (). A little while back I was watching this documentary on transvestites, and they start talking about the transvestite scene thats been on Hotel Street on Oahu for 55years. I dont know how strong they were. She was beautiful. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Baby goose pussy lips makes wagyu beef [laughing] Okay. I fucking hate geese. Whats she doing to Wilson? Get too fat at the Golden Corral, go to the Dress Barn. Thats insensitive right there. Baby goose pussy lips makes wagyu beef taste like boot leather. And it turns out I had no problem with it at all. Just lunch. [high-pitched] Thats all. Moxy and her colorful friends leave Uglyville on a quest to find a kid to love. I ran, um I ran for president of the United States, and I dont think I won, because nobodys called and I quit watching television. And the punchline of that story is, I come back to the States, when I get back to the States, my assistant goes, Ron, did you hear that John Mayhew died? And Im like, John Mayhew Why do I know that name? Its your ex-wifes divorce lawyer. [laughing quietly] Oh, I hated that motherfucker. His jokes are cynical, full of satire and sarcasm and that's what makes it good. No sabemos si las ancdotas son ciertas o es todo parte de la rutina, pero sea como fuere, la balanza se inclina 3 a 0 a favor, razn por la cual tens que ver este especial ;)Hasta el prximo episodio Gracias por ver! Thats it for tonight. Now she was beautiful, beautiful. Im like, Oh! Id help you move it out, but Im bleeding. See how much funner it is to say? Its a nickel for a hundred of em. This is how the conversation ended. Well, I would marry ya, but I cant! We wont be able to verify your ticket today, but its great to know for the future. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. Im not, and its not fair to me, because Im older, Im not in that great of shape. Link to Are You There God? the press, a -- top -- as well as the family of evan gershkovich which -- while it is a star studded, lighthearted evening, there is that backdrop of serious issues going on. Im going to do it, cause Im surprised they know it, but I support the Montreal Comedy Festival, and if you ever have a chance to go to Montreal in the summer to go to the festival, its the coolest fucking thing there is. Dont worry about them. These places are packed to the fucking rafters at 2:30 in the afternoon, seven days a week. CatherineBridget86886758. And word of that spreads throughout the criminal community. Thats all. White, meanwhile, has survived both divorce and divorce lawyers, and has put a lot of thought into drunk-driving checkpoints, the handsomeness of Chris Hemsworth, and the radical terrorist Canadian geese.. Here's When It Returns With New Episodes, Drew Barrymore Halts Segment After "Severely Old" Mac and Cheese Noodle Flies off Her Desk: "It's Rock Hard". Its almost like theres a clown there. Im in my car, all intimidated. Recorded at The Paramount Theater in Denver, CO, stand-up comedienne Kathleen Madigan explores topics including aging parents, interactions with millennials, and hunting bigfoot. You go anywhere in West Hollywood, theres these gigantic gay mens clubs with these huge patios. I dont have another eight goddamn dollars. And I called the front desk in a panic. Theres an opening act that makes between 100 and 200 a week for nine shows, the feature act, which is what I was, makes between 400 and 500 bucks a week for nine shows, and a headliner who can make absolutely anything depending on who they are. Get some Brylcreem and some dippity-do and a hair dryer. Ron, wake up. One [giggling] ..fucking eyehole. He likes them big big. That Yale snob fucking piece of shit, fucked me out of so goddamn much money. Were just gonna have lunch. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Baby. Profane. What kind of balls does it take to put the word corral on the name of your fucking restaurant? Boy, do they know that demographic! It was a demo when I bought it, had 350 yards already on it, but I put the other 400 yards on it myself. Cinemark Fuck Rudders, uh Bone Depot, Shaft Crafters. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. I do it all the time. 'Succession' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: "Living+", 'Succession': Tom and Shiv's "Bitey" Game is the Horniest, Most Effed Up Thing Theyve Done Yet. And right before I went on stage, I was in the green room of the main room, and they came over there and they said, Ron, they need you in the OR. I never thought anybody would fucking say that, you know? It's Me, Margaret. I was leaving a party the other night, and this buddy of mine goes, Hey, Ron, can you drive? I was like, I can drive I cant get pulled over.. Just below that it reads "Ticket Confirmation#:" followed by a 10-digit number. I think, at 61 years old, my best fucking days are behind me, cause it wasnt that long ago that I could make my wife scream and now she makes any noise at all, its to go, Do you need to take a little break or? Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. Im not trying to be an asshole, and I go, Really? lindsey? So Im all set up. Sean L. McCarthy works the comedy beat for his own digital newspaper,The Comics Comic; before that, for actual newspapers. Director Tom Forrest Writer Ron White Star Ron White And we should be afraid of geese too, and Ill tell you why. Im also an idea man. I appreciate that, and Im sorry you lost your dad. He goes, I was in love with you and Id see you on television, Id pretend you were my husband and wed go out to eat, and things like that. I went, Well, thats nice of you to say, I appreciate it, very nice to meet you. He goes, I had a picture of you I used to masturbate to. Which one? Do I leave? What? Just confirm how you got your ticket. Cinemark And traditionally in American comedy clubs, theres three acts. Bienvenidos a un nuevo episodio de Estrenos en Netflix!Hoy vamos a hablar de un especial de comedia de Ron White que se llama "If you quit listening, i'll sh. This is, uh This is brilliant. Thats why. Im a 61-year-old raging alcoholic, motherfucker. Or thats what it said in the deposition. And the guys over there still think theyre hot. And it turns out, theyve been snipping the pussy lips off of baby ducks in Saudi Arabia for 1,500 years and just throwing them in a river, and the cook from the Four Seasons went there and saw this amazing waste of baby duck pussy lips, and just started thinking, you know, Fuck Tacos! PETA hates it. You were right! I really do. My uncle was a Baptist preacher, and I was at his little white clapboard Baptist church in a little bitty town in Texas and I was sitting Vacation bible school. The shit that should have never got said got said, it just spun into this big shit storm of fuck. And I was there with a woman I couldnt stand eventually. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up subtitles | 27 subtitles A young man's trip to attend a funeral and a wedding on the same day leads to a journey of self-discovery when he's captivated by a chance encounter. Thanks a lot. Not two eyeholes like those other sluts. My doctor the other day said, Ron, you cannot gain any more weight, and I said, Thats what I thought. My wifes on my ass about me taking better care of myself. Fuck, dude. Golden Corral? Whats the problem? I said, I ordered a movie, it said, Please enjoy your feature film, but nothing came on the TV. She goes, What did you order? Cast Away. I wouldnt and Ill tell you why. I dont know what Im supposed to tell my fucking relatives. Jeff? Big old round uns, big old muumuu and 400-plus, great big old big uns. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. And Im driving, and I look ahead, and theres a sobriety checkpoint and Im like Fuck Which is what you say when you see a sobriety checkpoint. You know, they do that now. But White, with a cigar in his hand and a tall glass of tequila always filled on the stool by his side onstage (a tequila brand he sells on his website, btw), remains the real character. Natures most shitty critical thinkers. Now, I dont know whats wrong with your vagina that makes you think it needs to be rejuvenated. I know it smells like piss. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. [whistling] Im on break. I need to get her a gag gift. Not plump girls, not fat girls. The money sadly aint much better for aspiring stand-ups in 2018 than it was some two or three decades earlier for White. After a weird couple of years, John Mulaney comes out swinging in his return to the stage. And undeniably funny. Yeah! I can I got to get this right for the special. Since the Blue Collar Comedy Tour first started in 2000, Texas native Ron White has always stood apart from the other three stand-up comedians as the odd man in. Well, which one is it? Thats all. 1:03:21. Now Im not saying Ive never driven drunk, because Ive drank so much in my life, now on the back of my drivers license, theres a list of organs I need. And he comes up to me and goes [high-pitched] Mr. Im all over it, dude. Unless one of them wet the bed. And as a 12-year-old, I make a conscious decision to piss on my friend to make me look better. What is the Spanish language plot outline for Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (2018)? Theyre not natural. So I did my set, and Im out in the hallway talking to Joe Rogan and this guy comes up to me, in his early 30s, I would guess, very flamboyant, very nervous. Nobodys moving till we get across this street. They could have flown over the fucking street. And it was his goal for a lot of years to make me a famous comedian, and he truly sucks at it, cause it took him for fuckin ever. We would sit around, drink, and and talk about maybe one day, you know? [snorting] I dont, really Ive got tons of gay friends, most of em male dancers from fucking Vegas, and theyre like, We want to get married too. Im like, Youre going to fucking hate it, but, I think the Supreme Court fucked up the best thing about being gay. And you cant un-fuck the housekeeper. Governor Schwarzenegger helped me with that second one, so I didnt have to do that one myself, so thats good. Thats what I do. What? I said, Let me go talk to her, so I go up to the room. Hes lucky I dont know where hes buried. In a dystopian future devastated by air pollution, the survival of humanity depends on the Black Knights and theyre far from your average deliverymen. I have a back-up plan to curtail the goose population in America. That little spot tastes like Skittles. You and her were standing in the kitchen and looked at that lime. How much is the personal massager shaped like a big black cock? Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Comedies Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Watch Ron White: If You Quit Listening Ill Shut Up on Netflix, This story has been shared 41,150 times. And traditionally during the week, these three comics would go to the mall and those two comics would watch that comic spend money. I just like to see it. And I was watching that movie The Help, and Im like, I know hes not a young negro woman, but if he just had on an apron and no shirt I consider myself a gold star heterosexual. password | 846 views, 6 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 1 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from The Power Trip: Lil' B and Meatsauce take on Justin Gaard and. She goes, Listen, Ron. She goes, Look, its just on the wrong channel. Click. Britain's most talented young bakers wow judges with cakes, biscuits, breads and more in this kid-focused spinoff of "The Great British Baking Show.". I dont mean to seem ungrateful, but I got shit to do, Jeff. Ron White- If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (2018) Watch HD. You got to unwrap a few to get the one youre looking for in a sight unseen situation. You're almost there! One anything has the potential to become a DUI checkpoint if you crash your car into it. [bleating] I cant wait till they go hog-wild and just put a sugar lick right there in the middle of the fucking room.
